I suggest this not to depress you but to inform. Reality sucks sometimes, right? But that doesn't mean you shouldn't face it. When money is concerned, debt especially, it's so vital to live in the real world. It's too too easy to just stick your head in the sand and ignore it all. And that won't end well.
Figure out the total amount you owe. Face it. Reckon with it. Start thinking of a plan for what you're gonna do about it. Over time, you can get out of debt. You can. If you make a plan and follow it. It might take a while, might take years. But if you get there, you will be damn proud of yourself.
Please do this. Care for yourself. None of your lenders will.
Good luck and peace!