One, if you are stuck in a process that seems absurd, don't despair - the process IS absurd. There are so many regulations and policies that banks need to follow as they deal with customers. These policies are usually the result of some regulation put in place after some horrible misdeed by some wildly dishonest person or in response to some drastic market convulsion. Every time there's a crisis, politicians bellow in front of cameras about how they will fix things. Then they go back to their offices and listen to lobbyists bellow about God knows what. Then they go to battle with their counterparts in congress. And what comes out is some bizarre patch on the problem that then is layered atop other previous patches. Then bank regulators periodically audit banks to make sure they are following all of the rules. Seem like a stupid process? Well it is. And this doesn't even begin to include the internal policies that each bank puts on their own employees.
Two, you have choice. Now, all banks have to deal with similar policies. But that of course doesn't mean that all banks are alike. If you don't like the way you are being treated at some bank, it might be the fault of the individual you are meeting with (maybe they are having an off day... maybe they only have off days). Or it might be the fault of the specific bank (some banks have corrupt or morally bankrupt corporate cultures). Whatever the cause, if you don't like 'em, leave 'em. Go to another bank. That's what competition is for - use it to your advantage.
So, in conclusion, banks follow processes that are kind of like the animal designed by committee, and many banks or bank employees aren't worth your time. If your needs aren't being met, walk.
And finally, make them explain their process to you. You should be able to find someone to work with who can acknowledge that the process stinks and can explain what steps need to be taken and why.
Good luck and peace!